“Baby Steps”

I have been working for around two and half years now as a nanny and I must say that this job, has taught me and made me understand a lot of things about myself and my personal life.

 I have looked after little brothers and sisters, and I have looked at big child behaviour with the little one. And sometimes I find myself wondering if I was like that, or if I did same naughty stuff with my little sister, or event to my parents.

 Sometimes there are kids who are more manageable than others, and they could understand sometimes we need to share many things, even our parents love, however there are others who are very little still to be able to understand what is rude or what is nice.

This is a process of all of us, as kids or as adults need to cross thought. Even if we do not have siblings, one day we will experiment it with other kids or our friends during any time of our life.

This job has taught me, hundreds of things about myself and my sister, as well as I have comprehended what could be the reasons of some of my behaviours, and has allowed me to forgive myself, my sister, or parents, or even any other member of my family of friends.

 Now I realised we just acted as a kid, who does not understand at all what is has happening. Sometimes we think it is just a game and everyone is imagining the same as we are imagining. But sometimes it is not like that.

Perhaps, I could have said words I did not want to mean, because even, I did not understand what I was saying or what I was doing or what I was feeling. I was a kid!

I am forgiving myself, because I was a little girl, and I was just acting from my immatureness. I was reacting in the way I knew at that time, because I could have felt different feelings and emotions. I did not know it!

But what I know now, is that everyone around me, did not know it as well. They could have been reacting because of the same reason as I was. Rejection, jealousy, misunderstanding, could be any different reason. And they did not want to mean what they did to me.

But just now, I have been more conscious, and see that still inside ourselves, there is a little kid who come out to play and we do not realise about this in some specific moments, making us feel uncomfortable, mostly.

I would like just to say sorry, please forgive me, I love you too much and thank you for everything. :)